is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Is Oprah even human
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Randomize
