I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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