He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
