What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
