So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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