Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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