I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
