so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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