Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Everyone says I win the strip club
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
