How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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