Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
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