my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
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