when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
