He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
