he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
