i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
