Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
