Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
