Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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