before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
