just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass