I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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