Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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