Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
