He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Come see our sink grown plant.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
