i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
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I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
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That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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