im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.