we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
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You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
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She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.