who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize