Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
The feeling are messing with the penis
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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