Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
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