i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
