im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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