your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
What a dumb baby whore.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
