Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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