duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
