I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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