The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
