Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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