afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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