i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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