I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
are you still at the devil's house?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize