Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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