your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
