My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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