i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
