Porn is love you can see.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
