Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
