Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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