dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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