It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
