I accidentally had phone sex last night
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
