p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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