"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Can I color on your dick again?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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