Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
