I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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