I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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