I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
So many bounce houses so little time
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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