if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
