burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
