yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
