Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
