2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
