I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
