I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
