Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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