Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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